Dear Michael, We’re sorry. We’re sorry that you were always followed by lunatic stalkers and paparazzi. We’re sorry that so many comics relentlessly exploited you. We’re sorry that all the good work you did for children was overshadowed by the media’s obsession with perversion. We’re sorry that we built you up... »

I obsess about massive ideas that attempt to define the universe. Strings? Spinning orbs of light? The God Particle? What are we really made of? Let me offer a theory – we are made up of ideas. Ideas so deeply embedded in our DNA that we don’t call them ideas anymore in... »

Back in the Machiavelli days, being feared was the only way you could gain and maintain power. He who wielded the heaviest sword generally ruled the largest tract of land. But now that idea of ruling by fear is completely old-fashioned – like papyrus-old. Just look at Iran. You can’t... »

So I quit smoking 1 month ago. After 20 years of thoroughly enjoying a habit that was slowly killing me, I finally gave it up. Everyone knows why a person quits smoking: it’s deadly, it’s expensive, nonsmokers think you’re an asshole, etc. The question people keep asking me, the one thing they... »

If you’re ever planning on robbing American taxpayers, it’s quite simple: After being the CEO of Goldman Sachs for a while, Paulson was given the most powerful position in the world. The guy that controls the US money supply. Our money. You really can’t trust a guy with the power to print... »

Seriously, some people need to take a chill pill and let Barack Obama do his job. The administration has been in the White House for 5 months. 5 MONTHS!!! (I wish I could capitalize numbers, bold italics will have to do.) It took almost 35 years for this country to start... »

Robert Anton Wilson is my favorite author. He was one of those people who was blessed with perspective. To sum him up in one post would be unfair. So consider this an introduction. I plan on touching on some of his transformational thought-gems from time to time. RAW is probably most... »

HAHA!! It’s so useless it’s funny. Why don’t you just take your Omnibot 2000 and convert him into a liquid nitrogen fridge for your PBR? Put a thumb drive with Linux on him so he can stream mp3s to your home stereo. Don’t forget the touch screen! It’s not that this type of... »

I’m going to try to explain this in the simplest way possible. AMERICA DOES NOT HAVE THE BEST HEALTH CARE SYSTEM IN THE WORLD! So quit saying it! It’s a huge, lie! I’m talking to you Steve Malzberg! (I think this dead link to his “breaking news” section shows how on... »

I just love crop circles. I will agree that 90% of them seem hoaxy. But come on, you have to admit some of these designs are way too precise and delicately-detailed to be done by a couple drunk guys from a pub who wanted to play a joke on a farmer with... »