Software and Socialites and the Rise of Vapidity

Stop calling yourself a musician just because you bought a Mac and it came with GarageBand. Stop calling yourself a filmmaker just because you know how to use iMovie. Stop calling yourself a graphic designer just because you know how to put my head on Schwarzenegger’s body in Photoshop. Seriously, technology is making it harder and harder for the talented ones. The web is now flooded with useless crap. Is quality art obsolete? Dangit, doesn’t talent matter anymore?

I’ve just about given up on the idea of being a musician for a living. To some of you, this may be disappointing, to others it may not be shocking at all. Seriously, I’ve tried just about every angle. I’ve sang opera and composed chamber and orchestral music. I’ve been in at least 7 bands since i graduated HS. I’ve done a ton of electronic dance remixes. I’ve sang on other people’s demos. I’ve produced other people’s demos. I’ve written music for commercials. I’ve been in musicals. I’ve done just about everything a musician can do. Know what, I still haven’t made enough money to pay for my gear. Yes, I have a lot of nice gear, but wtf. I went to college to study music, I took years of voice lessons. I’ve been told I’m an unbelievable singer, songwriter, composer, producer, etc. and still no one has paid me enough for my various musical skills to justify continuing the pursuit. I’m surely not the only one going through this horrible problem, many of my friends are too.

This isn’t a problem with skills. This isn’t a problem with attitude. If you’re one of my friends who’s worked with me, you know that I can be a bit more serious about music than most, but I’m generally a great person to work with and I’m the guy with a ton of great ideas and so are a lot of my very talented friend. There are two reasons I think we haven’t been successful. One is a classic problem and the other is a theory I have that I am finding insurmountable. If anyone wants to convince me to feel otherwise, I’d love for you to change my mind.

First, “it’s who you know.” Show me an artist who’s gotten a paying job without knowing the guy who’s paying. Show me a popular band that didn’t know the photographer at Rolling Stone or the writer at Spin. Show me an electronic musician who didn’t know the DJ or the club owner. Show me a solo artist that didn’t have a manager who was having sex with the A&R guy. Show me an actor that didn’t get the part because he went to middle school with the director. I mean, you could be the next Elvis, but if you’re singing in your bedroom and just posting your stuff on iTunes and playing local gigs, you’re never going to make money. You need people who know you to help you advance your career. Want to have a viral hit? Your friends need to share your shit. It’s really not complex. Unfortunately, I have lazy friends and I’m not a socialite. I’ve learned by booking shows for years that people don’t come to your show just because your music is really good. The crowds only really start coming because some completely earless reverse-conformist “indie” critic from Pitchfork said that the band sounds like Pavement meets Sonic Youth – or some other totally inappropriate comparison for any arbitrary band with no provable musical ability. They just have friends in the know and cool clothes.

Secondly, and this is the one that really annoys me – everyone thinks they’re a musician now. Just go to YouTube and you’ll see millions – yes millions of videos of people singing, playing guitar, DJing, etc. Myspace currently hosts 2.68 million hip hop artists, 1.9 million Rock artists , almost a million Alternative pages!?!?! Really? You just got Ableton Live off of a torrent site and now you are making KICKASS TECHNO?? You know what, 99.9% of you are making CRAPPY “music” that has no redeeming quality. Even worse, you’re clogging the pipes and making it more and more difficult for people with legitimate talent to be heard. Can you go to Myspace music and search for bands based on talent? Can you go on iTunes and base your search on level of education or musical ingenuity? Nope. You could listen to 100 artists a day on one of those sites and if you find one artist you like, you’re really lucky.

So I’m going to ask you all, just this once. Stop mindlessly listening to garbage music with no emotional content. Break your band up if your hair is more interesting than your songs. That Asian chick playing on a modular synth does not give your band more credibility. Shut your computer down if you don’t know what 6/8 time means. I’m not saying that people who want to be musicians should give up on their dreams. All I’m asking is that people respect the medium more. Take the time to learn why that major-seven chord comes out of that augmented chord so nicely. Learn what counterpoint means. Stop playing only eighth notes on your guitar. Owning software is not owning creativity, it’s a tool.

Further, those of you who are in the business, please, just stop encouraging the endless cycle of talentless, stylized, egocentric, ignorant, landfill-worthy “art.” Don’t you wonder why your job is always on the line? You people aren’t concerned with quality! You’re no better than the car companies and you deserve to go bankrupt if you can’t make the effort to promote substance over style. The decrease in sales isn’t due to piracy, stop playing dumb, it’s due to lack of quality and you know it.

Oh, and if you know anyone looking for a talented singer/producer/composer who enjoys making quality music, please tell them about me. I’m extremely capable AND I have cool hair.

Related posts:

1. How To Rob America, by Hank Paulson

Tags: crap, dance remixes, electronic dance, filmmaker, garage band, graphic designer, job, Money, musical skills, musicals, musician, orchestral music, singer songwriter, voice lessons, WTF

This entry was posted on Monday, July 13th, 2009 at 2:54 pm and is filed under Music. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.