Always Remember
Two people who were important figures in my life died 8 years ago today. One of my brother’s best friends, Christian, a firefighter and a marine was caught in the collapse of the towers, saving people’s lives. We also lost my old girlfriend’s brother, who was a model of a man, a family man, a moral man who loved unconditionally, who went in early to his first day of work, Michael was 36 with 2 kids. These were big losses for me, surely bigger losses for their families. It was one of the most horrifying days in most of our lives. The images are implanted in our memory forever. The news reports, the pentagon, Pennsylvania, the anthrax attacks that followed, the widespread fear, we were all seemingly frozen in time. The events were so shocking that many of us couldn’t figure out our next move. What is going on? Why is this happening? Is this just the beginning? Who did this? Am I safe? Is my family safe? How many people have we lost today? Why? WHY?
Only God knows why things like this happen. But I’d like to attempt to give you my interpretation of why we all bore witness to such a horrible series of events. I think the universe knows what it’s doing.
When I watch the news today, it seems like remembrance is about flags and lights, bugles and choirs, moments of silence, lists of peoples names and news anchors looking solemn. Yes, this is part of it. But not the biggest part. The biggest part is how we live our lives. The biggest part of how we remember those we lost is how we go on. I support memorial, I think it’s necessary, I just think we don’t take it seriously enough on 9/12 and beyond. I’m not suggesting we all paint our houses red white and blue and put NYPD and FDNY badges all over our jackets – although it is definitely honoring and I wouldn’t discourage it. But there’s something much more important that I fear many of us miss – the point of all this – what sacrifice is really about.
We need to go beyond the cliches of “Never Forget,” and “our hearts are with the families,” and get to the meat. These people who died, I’m sure they appreciate the gestures today. But I guarantee you that what they really want from us is much more real and much more permanent. They would want us to stop being greedy, stop fighting wars, stop depriving the impoverished and stop punishing the sick. Stop the selfishness and ego that western culture has been encouraging for the last 30-40 years. Start doing something that helps people not hurts them. We need to make remembrance a daily habit not a yearly one.
Christian was a great man. I knew him for about 12 years. In that time he went from being a cute high school kid chasing girls and causing trouble to becoming a humble hero. He was and still is an example of what’s right with people. His generosity towards man was what made him great. Yes he was also a handsome devil and funny as hell, but I’ll always remember the great pride I felt knowing where this guy came from and what he made of himself.
Michael was a pure soul, I knew him for 10 years. He never did anything just for himself. His whole life was about giving. He gave to his church, he worked extremely hard to feed his family and he too was very handsome and funny as hell. We lost a dictionary example of a mensch that day.
Remember these people and those who many of us all around the world lost by being a better person. Please. For the sake of our future and our children’s futures – get past the divisions we all dwell on and serve your fellow man. Love unconditionally even those you disagree with. Work harder to make people’s lives better. I know that none of us will ever forget. It’s how we remember that is important.
Related posts: