My father died when I was six. He had pancreatic cancer. In 1982, his form of cancer was nearly untreatable. His early death was almost... »
Music
An Homage to Kanye West Interrupting Taylor Swift
Here it is. I thought, how can I commemorate the event that shook the pop world? So I pumped up the autotune and made it into a track. I hope you enjoy it! Hit me up Kanye, you know I made you sound much hotter than you do in real life. »
The Republican Party Should Be Called: The Pretend Party
The Republican party should be called the Pretend party. A la: let’s pretend nothing happened for the last 8 years, let’s pretend Sarah Palin is qualified, let’s pretend we didn’t create this economic mess, let’s pretend global warming isn’t real, let’s pretend there are weapons of mass destruction, let’s pretend we care about Iraqi... »
America’s Not Talent
Stop calling yourself a musician just because you bought a Mac and it came with GarageBand. Stop calling yourself a filmmaker just because you know how to use iMovie. Stop calling yourself a graphic designer just because you know how to put my head on Schwarzenegger’s body in Photoshop. Seriously, technology... »
A Letter to Michael Jackson – Please Forgive Us
Dear Michael, We’re sorry. We’re sorry that you were always followed by lunatic stalkers and paparazzi. We’re sorry that so many comics relentlessly exploited you. We’re sorry that all the good work you did for children was overshadowed by the media’s obsession with perversion. We’re sorry that we built you up... »
How Gen-X! How Fanboy! How Geeky! Sooooo pointless.
HAHA!! It’s so useless it’s funny. Why don’t you just take your Omnibot 2000 and convert him into a liquid nitrogen fridge for your PBR? Put a thumb drive with Linux on him so he can stream mp3s to your home stereo. Don’t forget the touch screen! It’s not that this type of... »